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Old 10-29-2008   #1
darkdreams
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Default The enemy inside

The enemy inside-A deep look on metal illness
Metal illness. When most people think of that a picture of some person welding a
chainsaw comes to their mind. It is wrong. Mental illness does not all ways have
some one doing that. Mental illness is not something blissful. If only that where
true. There are all kinds of them causing problems, minor or serious to the people
who are stricken with them. Lets talk say some one has bipolar disorder. Some one
who has this is stricken with moods that switch very fast-from happy to mad. In a
regular person emotions can switch but with bipolar they switch very fast and all
the time. Oh there is the 'manic' part of bipolar making one think 'oh this is good
I wish I could be happy like that' but they are wrong. When manic strikes it is a
bad type of happy not something you want. Metal illness comes in all shapes and
sizes. It does not care if your rich or poor, black or white. It leaves you there
with some thing-that you did not want. It is like fighting a war inside you-some times the land mine blows up and leaves you very hurt. Yes you heal slowly..but the illness never heals and goes away. The words mental illness gets thrown around a lot in songs these days. I don't like that. Just because you lost your sock does not give you the right to make a song about metal illness. Metal illness is not some thing all glitz and glam. If you want to act like you have one then fine. I will just sit there and laugh at you.
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Old 10-30-2008   #2
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Default Re: The enemy inside

true that...

i've been diagnosed with being bi-polar and its really frustrating that i cant, at all, have normal emotional stability... most of the time i manage... but there are times when i go insane... people bragging about how bipolar they are... they piss me off to no extent... if your truely bipolar you know what its like and you know that its not something funny or cool... its a serious mental condition that will be a significant part of your life

if you think its funny to drasticly swing between every emotion you've ever felt every day... think again

my best friend recently got diagnosed with psychotic episodes... meaning that he's schitzofrenic and thinks he dreams the future... in his dream it always ends up bad... i've seen enough people bragging about being schitzofrenic and hearing voices... i've been around my friend during his episodes...

its nothing funny or bragworthy at all... trust me... when your best friend is hiding in a dark corner crying about how we're all going to die because he's seen this all happen before... you wont be laughing then

in time i hope people will grow aware that these things are no joke... but sadly, the masses are retards and will laugh at anything nowadays...
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Old 10-31-2008   #3
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Default Re: The enemy inside

Hmm... That really is something to think about... I don't really know if I have a mental illness since I've never went to the doctor to ask if I do. (Does a learning disability count as a mental illness? Just asking, although I doubt that it does count. :P) And yeah, it's not really funny and stuff. Lotsa people (like me) just say they're [or somebody] is bipolar but they don't mean it seriously and stuff, they're simply saying that they think they have two minds/personalities. This does actually change the way I think about things. Like for instance, I never knew that it was really like a battle field in your own mind or something. I don't really see anything wrong with people writing songs about mental illnesses. Maybe they wrote it to show others that people with a mental illness shouldn't be treated any differently or laughed at. And yeah, mental illnesses shouldn't be something you flash and rub into people's faces. Some of my friends who have mental illnesses have hidden the fact that they have an illness from me until they're more comfortable with me.

(I hope that isn't off topic. ^ I have a habit of going on and on about something a little different than the actual topic. ^ ^
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Old 11-01-2008   #4
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Default Re: The enemy inside

My brother has a mental illness, form of really, asperger's syndrome and he also has ADD. I feel so bad for him because people make fun of him and he doesn't even know it. He only really has one friend that understands him. I thank you so much for bringing this subject up because most everyone makes fun of those people...We never found out that my brother had a form of a mental illness until a few months ago because we just thought it was ADD until my mom read about aspergers. It's sad to see him at school because they make fun of him because he doesn't "look" like he has any problems...he just acts different...He once told me that he wished he was normal...I think he said that to me after my parents had to force him ADD medicine..He doesn't take it anymore because he's going to a private school that deals with people like him...He's made new friends too which brings my a lot of joy to not see my brother getting picked on...Thank you though for bringing it up again because I don't think people understand the truth of it...
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Old 11-01-2008   #5
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Default Re: The enemy inside

Aspergers is interesting. There's an aspy on a forum I used to visit, and they're aware of their social differences. They have no social grace, they have no real tact, they're blunt and straightforward (this person, not all aspies) but they don't think it's not normal, they just think it's them! Apparently a lot of aspies will have heightened IQ if they don't suffer what this person called the "mental retardation" of the illness.. I wish I could find the thread again but hackers invaded the forum, I clicked a link I shouldn't have and was accidentally IP banned. Damn. /off topic

I don't think my mother has been formally diagnosed with any disorder, but she has what is called "positive symptoms" of schizophrenia, so if she were to be diagnosed it would be a mild diagnosis. Poor mum.. I hope it doesn't get worse.
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Old 11-01-2008   #6
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Default Re: The enemy inside

Schizophrenia is bad..it is hard to treat for some people.
I never knew that it was really like a battle field in your own mind or something
Yes it is a battle that goes on and on. For me the battle has died down some what.
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Old 11-06-2008   #7
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Default Re: The enemy inside

I don't know if I'm bipolar or not.
But my friend (apparently) says that my EQ is too high?
My mum says its too low because I have seriously no idea how to "communicate" well.

(So many damned glitches in my brain)

People think I'm (mentally ill) because of how I can never stop laughing?
(But I seriously have NO idea what's the difference between mentally ill and normal)
Because people joke around and say I'm mentally ill.
(Or say that I have something wrong in here)

But some people really mean it?

So educate me. ^^
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Old 11-06-2008   #8
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Default Re: The enemy inside

there's no real "education" for people with mental illnesses... you just learn to live with them as time goes along... in severe cases you get drugs... but most people reject those drugs and refuse to take them even though they help...

i've learned to distance myself from my emotions... people call me hollow, cold and dead... but it saves me a lot of pain and a lot of trouble with other people... the general population does not accept abnormalities in people... they reject people like me... they don't understand that its the only way i can stay among them without freaking out and going mental on others... they dont understand what violent moodswings can do to a person...

everyone deals with things in their own way... and in time i hope that others will learn to deal with problems beside their own...
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Old 11-07-2008   #9
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Default Re: The enemy inside

It is weird how now more people are stepping up to get help and taking zoloft, prozac etc is good. But people are still like 'your crazy you need to be locked away' 'You just want people to see you' I think if you ask the most of us 'crazy' people we don't want Attention. We want to be able to go though the day not losing things etc. I have ADD and depression and I know I will never be able to completey be 'cured'. I wear my 'Problems' like a bage. For reasons unknown to me I think the uninverse was like this person is going to be the one to help people. I really want to help people with other mental illnesses. I want to be the one they feel like understands them mostly I want to work with teens and children,so I will be their angel.
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Old 11-07-2008   #10
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Default Re: The enemy inside

i think part of my moodswings are because im very empathic (or perhaps my empathy comes from my moodswings, i dont know)

when i get near people i have a tendancy to "feel" how they feel... and music also tends to work on my moods... i especially hate listening to sad music and anything that has to do with heartbreak because i will in almost every case get very depressed and emotional... lately i've found comfort in music like Tool makes... pessimistic yet somehow very uplifting and hopegiving songs... its hard to describe but hearing how everything is going down the drain and things should be changed calms me down...

the distractions that work well for me have helped me through many suicidal moods... people look down on me because i play videogames and listen to rock, metal and alternative music... but they dont understand that without those, i'd be more of a wreck than one would imagine

in reality, i dont think i want to change anymore

there used to be so many times that i wished i could be "normal" but lately i've had a sense of selfpride... if there came a "cure" for my mental condition then i would not want it. as bad as it is sometimes, it also shaped me into the person i am today and it will continue to shape me into the person that im destined to be

this is my burden and i will bear it as i best as i can... and if someone chooses to love me, then they will have to accept the fact that i am not "normal" and not "ok"... i am me

i am broken

i am different

and... i am proud

proud of who i've become... proud of the things i've seen and done... proud of myself for the people i've helped through dark times...

proud, that my empathy (be it thanks or or despite my moodswings) has helped me help others...

maybe i dont want to change because im afraid my empathy will go away with it... but on my good days, i am proud to be a wonderous, inventive, kind and good person...

on my bad days, i enjoy the fact that im a malevolent, destructive, sadistic and evil person...

but these things... the good and the bad... they are all a part of me

i am not me if it werent for those things... and i know for certain that i would be an entirely different person if i didnt have this mental condition
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