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Old 05-03-2008   #1
Lyncheh
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Default Being called 'ugly'

Everyone has been insulted at some point. As we all know, insults can really hurt you inside, but there is one particular insult which seems to hurt some people like no other insult can: being called 'ugly'. In this post I am going to talk about why people use this insult, and what you can do when someone calls you ugly.

"Why do people call me ugly?"
'Ugly' is an insult that has been used for several hundred years. Like any insult, there could be several reasons why someone calls you ugly.

Scenario 1: Jealousy.
If you have low self esteem, it's easy to say, "why would they be jealous of me? I'm ugly". But it is true that sometimes, people are jealous of you and want to bring you 'down to their level' so they feel better about themselves. Perhaps it is your looks, your brains or your boyfriend/girlfriend they are jealous of, and they find calling you ugly the easiest way to make you feel bad about yourself.

Scenario 2: You look different to them.
Some people in this world hate people who are different to them. I am sure you have seen examples of this: teenagers who form special "cliques" which you can only enter into if you dress a specific way. Or people who are racist, and don't like people with a different skin colour. These kinds of people tend not to like anyone different from themselves, and if you look the slightly different, you may be branded as 'ugly'.

Scenario 3: Boredom
It is an unfortunate fact of life that some people gain happiness from making others miserable. A lot of the time, people are called ugly for the insult-giver's amusement.

Any of these scenarios can make someone feel inferior. However, as I will explain to you, there is no such thing as 'ugly'.

"There's no such thing as ugly?"
True. 'Ugly' means nothing. To call someone ugly, you must be comparing them with something. For example, if I said, "I am short", this tells you nothing. I could be comparing myself to a small child (around 4ft) or the world's tallest man (7 ft 9 in). 'Short' tells us nothing, and neither does 'ugly'.
Is the insult-giver comparing you to themselves? Perhaps it might help to take a look at the insult-giver. Are they a friendly person? Do they show respect to people? Do you trust this person to know what you should and shouldn't be like? If not, then paying attention to their opinion is foolish.

"But it's not just one person! Everyone calls me ugly!"
Sometimes it can seem like the whole world is attractive apart from you. It's important to remember that there is more to life than being stereotypically 'attractive'. Take a look around you. Are your friends as good looking as movie stars? Could your parents become supermodels? Probably not, but you love these people anyway because you know their personalities. It's difficult to 'see' someone's personality, but truly kind and sensible people will not judge you by your appearance. Anyone else is not worth your time anyway.
And always remember: society's 'beauty ideal' is changing all the time. For example, in Victorian England, women would try to make their skin seem as pale as possible, because that was seen as attractive at the time. These days, a lot of women tan, use sunbeds and use fake tan spray to seem browner. Fashions come and go, hairstyles and facial features go in and out of style. But do you know what? If you have an individual style, you will never go out of fashion. And I think that that is well worth considering, next time someone calls you "ugly". :P
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Old 05-03-2008   #2
CaptainKirsty
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

This is a lovely post Alex, I really am glad you brought this up. Everything you've said there is amazingly right.

Well done ^^
Thumbs up.
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Old 05-03-2008   #3
MissBliss
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

Scenario 4: Your personality.
Some people who were called "ugly" often confuse their looks from their personality.

e.g. - Warning: Dramatization
Person A: Why are you so ugly? =/

Person B: Whaaaat? How dare you! You're uglier than I am! JEALOUS B****!

Person A:



This, however, is maybe a 1/20 chance.
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Old 05-03-2008   #4
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

Yes, this is beautifully (Yeah? Yeah? Get it?) written.

You can give the same person thumbs up every hour so I gave you another!

Many people will benefit from this.
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Old 05-03-2008   #5
Kirti
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

I reconize that I am rather attractive, except for some skin issues that have been going of for about three years straight. (at least 10 zits varying sizes every single day for 3 years.)

The kids in my class hate everything about me. "you should smile more" "you should't smile like that" "why do you defend gay people?" "you should shop name grand" "why did you dye your hair pink?" "why do you care? It's Asia!" "Nepal isn't a real country!" "you don't like baseball?" "we are to fighting for our rights! we don't need to KNOW which rights, that's just what we're going!" "you're ugly" "we're cooler then you" "of course he didn't like You. it's You."

I sorta learned to act like I ignore it. You can't actualy ignore more then 100 people all intent on pointing out flaws whether you have them in that area or not. besides (wow I think I'm actualy optimistic about something! that's a first) Since I'm the loser and things can't get any worse, I change my looks alot. what ever suits my fancy. They can't stop me, they've already insulted everything about me at one time or another, and reusing insults about my hair and clothes is easier to ignore.
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Old 05-03-2008   #6
hina
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

Let me add:

Instead of focusing on the U-word, it is better to think / find out WHY you are being called ugly.
By knowing the cause, you can find a solution to the real problem (if there is any).

Being called ugly is just the consequence of something you have/did/do...
so you should work on the cause, not the effect.
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Old 05-03-2008   #7
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

It also maybe due to 'power' and 'showing off.'

Many 'popular' people call others ugly because they know you won't fight back. It's showing their power and the fact they always win.
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Old 05-03-2008   #8
CaptainKirsty
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

Yeah, I agree with the above post.

It's to prove/keep the place they have in the schools hierarchy.
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Old 05-03-2008   #9
cheeky_angel004
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

This post/article is so good. It helps people with low self-esteem (like me) to not be affected by someone calling us "ugly".
Well, I don't really care if someone calls me "ugly" or "pretty" or what. What matters to me are my friends and family who are always there beside me to support me. I just go ignore the people who calls me "ugly".
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Old 05-04-2008   #10
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Default Re: Being called 'ugly'

This is very well-written, Lyncheh. You did an amazing job with this. ^^

It is very true that people of a differenct race will get on your case if you're a different color than them, and unfortunately, because of that, will call you ugly. I'm glad you've noted this, it can be confusing to people going through this as to why others think of them that way (I've gone through this myself :/).

But anyway, yes, very good job. <3 I hope you write some more, it's very helpful and I'm sure lots of people appreciate your work. ^^
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